"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."
Yes I am an adult who pretends to be an old sea captain on the internet. I make believe that I have an island full of slaves that I command. I am infatuated with Nazi stuff, especially the Panzerfaust for some strange reason. I act like I am the CL police and that I am in charge of everything that is written here. I brag like a teenage boy about the weed I smoke, complete with strain names and THC percentages. I also claim to be a recovering alcoholic who slips up quite often, so much for recovering. Oh and I claim to be a convicted felon too (white collar crime) for which I did a few years in the big house. In light of all these things that I have posted here and all are true according to me, how could anyone think what I write or publish here is not the absolute truth? I write and post stuff about others that I don't have to prove because I'm the captain. As anyone can see, I am just an ordinary, everyday guy that is just like the next guy. Why would anyone question my posts? I have no reason to lie. Except about who I am, what I have done in my life, and how tough I am. Now about it getting warmer and those two locations?
That was a post from Mad Mike McNutty yesterday. It vanished shortly after it was published, and I'm guessing Mikey self-deleted it when he realized how fucking stupid he was for taunting me. I'd been intentionally leaving this dull-witted psychopath alone, partly from the guilt of tormenting someone with a mental illness, but he's decided to fuck with me again and now I'm compelled to return the favor. It's like one of those homeless nutcases on Main Street repeatedly bugging you for spare change, you try to be polite, but eventually you have to pistol-whip the fucker in order to get your point across. So...Mad Mike wants to play, and I guess I have little choice but to entertain the stubby little ass-clown; ya cant say I didn't give him a chance to drop all this, but it seems that he's simply not content unless he's harassing someone. Now he's dropping these veiled threats about tracking me down; the stupid shit about "two locations" and how it's "getting warmer"...that translates to "I'll find you and chop your head off with my $20 survival knife!" Only problem is that the "locations" mean absolutely nothing to me, so I'll encourage him to keep pursuing those leads...maybe I can sucker him into a long-distance ride to a shopping plaza in Oklahoma or something. Is he stupid enough to fall for that trick again? I'll bet he is.
My only concern is that he tracks down the wrong person and kills them by mistake...that would suck. Sure, it would be a "final solution" to the Mike problem, but I certainly don't wish to see an innocent person get decapitated. Something like this (or worse) is bound to happen eventually, this fuck-wad is a ticking time bomb and I have little doubt that we'll be reading about him one day. He knows now that the cops aren't going to help him with his endless Internet feuds, and he's told me numerous times that he doesn't care about the repercussions of murdering me. He's in his mid-50's, so that means a life sentence could turn into a 30 year stretch...three long decades of living like a fucking animal in a cage, all over a fucked-up Internet beef. His old lady will stop visiting after the first year or two, and eventually even the letters will stop. His daughter will probably turn her back on him as well, not wanting to shame her mocha-babies with the terrible truth that Grandpa is a homicidal maniac doing life at Cedar Junction...the kid's will have it rough enough just having a black Daddy, assuming of course that he sticks around. One thing I never really understood...Mad Mike has a black son-in-law, but a couple of years ago he was creating those disturbing "cartoon cum shots" that featured black ladies covered with copious amounts of baby batter...and this is the guy who calls ME a racist.
More on this continuing saga as it develops. Film at 11!
See ya on the website,
Captain Caleb Eldridge Benevolent Dictator, Caleb's Island
A one-way voyage to Weirdistan, with Captain Caleb Eldridge