Many of you may have already read the story below, but I included it for those who may not have. It's presumably an account of Hillary's booze-fueled meltdown on election night, by someone who was there...

"The night she lost, Hillary reverted to the form that all of us who have covered her for years have been reporting. She screamed, shouted some very unladylike epithets, threw some objects at her servitors' heads and availed herself to more adult beverages than was prudent. That evening, she made a brief late-night call to President-elect Donald Trump. Then she collapsed, leaving her campaign chairman, John Podesta, to notify the disappointed throng at Javits Center that she would address them the next day after the votes were verified and, presumably, she had freshened up."

Hillary had unfortunately ordered her body-double "suicided" a couple of months earlier, so she was forced to make her own concession speech. Her minions probably threw the old nag into a cold shower the next morning and pumped her up with a few lines of Bolivian Pink Flake. I would have given my left nut to have been there on election night (at a safe distance), I can only imagine the look on her face as the results were coming in. All the while, Podesta and Mook kept blowing smoke up her ass, telling here it "still too early to tell". It was bound to get better, they told her, but they were both thinking that they'd better get the fuck outta Dodge if the bitch lost...neither wanted to be the next "suicide" victim.

Old Hill has remained very bitter towards the Sunshine State since that fateful night. As a result, the vengeful shrew hired a team of Russian engineers to build an ionic-transmission weather-manipulation device on a small island in the Bermuda Triangle. The plan; to destroy Florida with a series of cataclysmic man-made hurricanes. Hillary and her Rusky henchmen have so far created five storms, the first four produced mediocre results (a couple missed Florida altogether), but they seen to have perfected it with this most recent one; nearly a "Cat 5" and right on target into the panhandle rednecks who voted for Donald Trump.


Florida did it I bet. CNN had a real hard time calling it until they had absolutely no choice, they knew (as did Hillary's people) that Florida was the Gettysburg on this election night, whoever won that battle was pretty much assured to win the war. That's probably when Podesta and Mook started trying to prepare Hillary for the impending bad news. "Uhhh...ya know,Hillary", Podesta said in a cautious, quiet voice "Being president isn't really all it's cracked up to be, just ask Bill, he knows. Besides, you'll have more time for those walks in the woods that you like so much.". "Yeah, and maybe you could write a book or something..." added Mook with a sheepish grin as he gently patted Hillary's back.

I'll bet that's when things started getting thrown....but it was soon to get much worse.

You can almost hear the wicked witch cackling with sadistic delight as she views the devastation on the Weather Channel, the stench of sulfur surrounding her, a tall glass of Grey Goose clutched in her shaking, arthritic hand. "FUCK YOU, FLORIDA...FFFUUUUUCCCKKK YOU!!! Who needs your goddamn electoral votes anyway???", followed by the sound of her coughing up a lung and a Persian vase shattering against the wall.