Was Jesus A Shifty-Eyed Jew?

The Captain goes to 4chan to learn the truth...

Was Jesus really a Jew? Is Christianity the ultimate example of devious Jewish fuckery ever perpetuated upon mankind? As a little kid, I naturally envisioned our Savior as the handsome, blue-eyed chap we saw in the pictures hanging on the wall at the Calebian First Baptist Church...everyone was fully aware that Jesus was a regular white guy who spoke perfect English. As the years passed however, I kept hearing unsettling rumors about Christ being the "King of Jews". I couldn't even fathom the son of God being a hook-nosed, shifty-eyed Hebe, so one day I decided to ask my Sunday School teacher, Mrs. Kweifmueller...surely if anyone knew, it would be her.

Gretchen Kweifmueller was a kindly old lady who hailed from Germany and had worked in a Panzerfaust factory in the city of Fahrtenberg during the war. After Russian troops overran the factory in April of '45 and brutally gang-raped her, she immigrated to Caleb's Island in search of a better life. Mrs. Kweifmueller explained to me in her thick German accent that Jesus WAS a Jew, but a good one, unlike the ones we know today. The old gal went on to tell the class how the "Schwein Juden", who vastly outnumbered the "Gute Juden", were responsible for Germany losing the First World War, and how her people suffered horribly under the Treaty of Versailles. "Der schwein Juden had it coming...ve did nothing wrong!", she stated defiantly as she slammed her clenched fist upon the desk with an angry look in her cold, steel-blue eyes. It was one of my earliest red pills, and coincidentally, the last time Mrs. Kweifmueller was ever allowed to teach Sunday School.

Admittedly, the whole "Jesus was a Jew" thing is rather confusing, so I decided to go to my preferred source of reputable, unbiased information in order to get the real scoop...yup, you guessed it; 4Chan. True, some of the roguish chaps in there are a little weird (and possibly dangerous, never agree to meet any of them in real life), but many of these fellows are surprisingly intelligent and well-informed. I started a thread on 4Chan's politically-incorrect /pol/ board entitled "Was Jesus really a shifty Hebe?" in my feverish quest to find a definitive answer to this age-old mystery, and as you might well imagine, I was immediately inundated with hundreds of informative responses to my query. Below are a few of the more interesting replies...

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I felt compelled the drop the end all be all of red pills for you. This is for white men and women that are able to see and hear the truth clearly.

1. Jesus was NOT a Jew. "Jew" was not in the original text. The word is "יְהוּדִי "-"Yehudi" which simply means Jesus was of the tribe of Judah. (((jews))) stole this from you and corrupted it, as is their nature.
2. The "Jews" of today are the literal children of Satan and have been a burden and a curse on us since the garden of eden. 3. The Anglo-Saxon, Germanic, Scandinavian, Celtic and kindred people are the true descendants of the ancient Israelites. Our true history is more glorious than you can imagine.
4. True Christianity IS Nationalism.
5. Bonus redpill: people who debate the above are always either kike shills or non whites larping as something they aren't so as to subvert and confuse white people.

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I know this sounds extreme to you. That is because you have been brainwashed since childhood to see Jews as the "chosen people" (or at least that's what they call themselves right?) and to see Jesus as a Jew. This is the largest con job in history and is in large part why the Jews always have and always will try to destroy us. They are jealous of our true lineage and stole it from us long ago. Your heritage and true origin has been taken by Satan and his progeny as their own, and then twisted and perverted into something that is not even a pale reflection of its once glorious nature.
Do not listen to the Kike shills that will no doubt be spamming this thread with baseless claims and debunked and refuted sources. If you are a 100% pure white person then you are part of a grand battle that has been waged since the garden of Eden. You are a descendant of God's chosen race, all others are beasts of the field, Or literal satanic seed unworthy to enter the kingdom of heaven. The other races do not share in the promise, they have never been part of our lineage and despite their lies and best efforts they never will be.
You have been lied to and I do not fault you for your unbelief. It is only natural for an intelligent child of god to reject outright lies and falsehoods, especially when they are presented by satanic vipers, which is sadly all we get from todays crop of "judeo christian" kike bootlickers. The enemy is cunning and wise in their own perverse way, and One has to marvel at how thoroughly they have perverted the true meanings in scripture. So no. I cannot fault you for not believing, I do not think god could even find you at fault for that. But I do think that god will find fault in you for your stubborn arrogance if you do not at least think on these things for just a moment and hear them out. You are so close to the final "redpill". Just give it a chance?

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Jew indicates tribe of Judah. Christ was not from the tribe of Judah, as he was descended from King David.
Circumcision isn't a "Jewish" practice, it's Abraham in nature, and involves an adult male up keeping the covenant with God that Abraham made, by willingly pulling away from the flesh.
The Jews have probably subverted this practice and altered it, practicing it on babies, and sucking blood out of the penis of babies as described in the Talmud.
Christ wasn't a Jew and he wasn't circumcised as a baby.

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Only a handful of us truly understand a truth hidden in plain sight. / God's people split into two houses. The 10 northern tribes, Israel, went into captivity to Assyria. Because of Jonah and the whale, Assyria respected Israel and released them. Israel traveled over the Caucasus Mountains, hence our people called Caucasians, and settled the 10 main nations of Europe. / However, the two southern tribes, Judah, went into captivity to Babylon. A city of perversion. When released, Judah was infiltrated by the sons and daughters of Cain, the wicked ones spawned by Satan, the Kenites. Revelations 2:9 / Just because they call themselves )Jews, Judah, Israel, does not make it so. They are in fact, Kenites, the literal spawn of Satan and the original whore, Eve. / Letter from Pontius Pilate to Caesar, held today at The Library Of Congress in Washington D.C., describes Christ as having the bluest of eyes and golden hair as the sun, truly, this is the Son Of God. / You can write them and request a copy of the letter. / In the end, only a handful of us will know this truth. Yet, the Kenite vermin shall take a knee before our light. Rise White Man! / Hail To Our Fuhrer, Adolf Hitler!!!

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Those are just the select few that time and space will allow for, but you get the overall picture. While no singular reply on 4Chan is necessarily correct, I've found that if you blend all of them together (and ignore certain facts) you'll often find the underlying common-denominators that you can interpret into a plausible explanation of your liking. Hopefully, the information presented by these scholarly 4Channers answers the perplexing theological question of Christ's faith to you. Like myself, you're probably breathing a great sigh of relief in knowing that our Savior wasn't a shifty-eyed Hebe, and that the whole "King of Jews" thing is a classic example of Jewish malarkey. Once again, those ever-so-helpful lads on 4Chan have debunked a Zionist fairy tale and proven that you don't need to rely upon Jewish-controlled information sources like Wikipedia and Snopes to find real answers to important questions.