The King Of Jews, Mrs. Kweifmueller, And 4Chan Research

Dear liberal chap in Brooklyn,

Your recent post brought up a deep theological question that I myself have often pondered; whether or not our Savior was really a Jew. Is Christianity the ultimate example of devious Jewish trickery ever perpetuated upon mankind? As a little kid, I naturally envisioned Jesus as the handsome, blue-eyed, Caucasian fellow we saw in the pictures hanging on the wall at church...everyone was fully aware that Jesus was a regular white guy who spoke perfect English, there was never any question of this in my "whiter-than-Wonder Bread", Christian community. As the years passed however, I kept hearing ugly rumors about Christ being the "King of the Jews". I couldn't even fathom the son of God being a dark-skinned, hook-nosed, bulgy-eyed, unshaven Jew, so one day when I was about 11 or 12 I decided to ask someone who would surely know the truth; my Sunday School teacher at the First Calebian Baptist Church, Mrs. Kweifmueller.

Gretchen Kweifmueller was a kindly old lady who hailed from Germany and had worked in a Panzerfaust factory in the city of Ausfahrten during the war. When the factory was overrun by the Red Army in April of '45, effectively putting her out of a job, she immigrated (as a stowaway on a U-Boat) to Caleb's Island in search of a better life. Mrs. Kweifmueller explained to me in her thick Bavarian accent that Jesus WAS a Jew, but a good one, unlike the ones we know today. The old gal went on to tell the class how the "Schwein Juden", who vastly outnumbered the "Gute Juden", were responsible for Germany losing the First World War, and how her people suffered horribly under the Treaty of Versailles. "Der Juden had it coming...we did nothing wrong!", she stated defiantly as she slammed her clenched fist upon the desk with an angry look in her cold, steel-blue eyes. It was perhaps one of my earliest red pills, and coincidentally, the last time Mrs. Kweifmueller was ever allowed to teach Sunday School.

Admittedly, the whole "Jesus was a Jew" thing is rather confusing, so I decided to go to my preferred source of reputable, unbiased information and get the real scoop...yup, you guessed it; 4Chan. True, some of the roguish chaps in there are a little weird (and possibly dangerous, never agree to meet any of them in real life), but many of these fellows are surprisingly intelligent and well-informed, especially as compared to the average "broken record" CL poster. I started a thread on 4Chan's politically-incorrect /pol/ board entitled "Was Jesus really a shifty Hebe?" in my feverish quest to find a definitive answer to this age-old mystery, and as you might well imagine, I was immediately inundated with hundreds of informative responses to my query. Below are a few of the more enlightening replies...


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I felt compelled the drop the end all be all of red pills for you. This is for white men and women that are able to see and hear the truth clearly.

1. Jesus was NOT a Jew. "Jew" was not in the original text. The word is "יְהוּדִי "-"Yehudi" which simply means Jesus was of the tribe of Judah. (((jews))) stole this from you and corrupted it, as is their nature.
2. The "Jews" of today are the literal children of Satan and have been a burden and a curse on us since the garden of eden. 3. The Anglo-Saxon, Germanic, Scandinavian, Celtic and kindred people are the true descendants of the ancient Israelites. Our true history is more glorious than you can imagine.
4. True Christianity IS Nationalism.
5. Bonus redpill: people who debate the above are always either kike shills or non whites larping as something they aren't so as to subvert and confuse white people.

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I know this sounds extreme to you. That is because you have been brainwashed since childhood to see Jews as the "chosen people" (or at least that's what they call themselves right?) and to see Jesus as a Jew. This is the largest con job in history and is in large part why the Jews always have and always will try to destroy us. They are jealous of our true lineage and stole it from us long ago. Your heritage and true origin has been taken by Satan and his progeny as their own, and then twisted and perverted into something that is not even a pale reflection of its once glorious nature.
Do not listen to the Kike shills that will no doubt be spamming this thread with baseless claims and debunked and refuted sources. If you are a 100% pure white person then you are part of a grand battle that has been waged since the garden of Eden. You are a descendant of God's chosen race, all others are beasts of the field, Or literal satanic seed unworthy to enter the kingdom of heaven. The other races do not share in the promise, they have never been part of our lineage and despite their lies and best efforts they never will be.
You have been lied to and I do not fault you for your unbelief. It is only natural for an intelligent child of god to reject outright lies and falsehoods, especially when they are presented by satanic vipers, which is sadly all we get from todays crop of "judeo christian" kike bootlickers. The enemy is cunning and wise in their own perverse way, and One has to marvel at how thoroughly they have perverted the true meanings in scripture. So no. I cannot fault you for not believing, I do not think god could even find you at fault for that. But I do think that god will find fault in you for your stubborn arrogance if you do not at least think on these things for just a moment and hear them out. You are so close to the final "redpill". Just give it a chance?

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Jew indicates tribe of Judah. Christ was not from the tribe of Judah, as he was descended from King David.
Circumcision isn't a "Jewish" practice, it's Abraham in nature, and involves an adult male up keeping the covenant with God that Abraham made, by willingly pulling away from the flesh.
The Jews have probably subverted this practice and altered it, practicing it on babies, and sucking blood out of the penis of babies as described in the Talmud.
Christ wasn't a Jew and he wasn't circumcised as a baby.

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Only a handful of us truly understand a truth hidden in plain sight. / God's people split into two houses. The 10 northern tribes, Israel, went into captivity to Assyria. Because of Jonah and the whale, Assyria respected Israel and released them. Israel traveled over the Caucasus Mountains, hence our people called Caucasians, and settled the 10 main nations of Europe. / However, the two southern tribes, Judah, went into captivity to Babylon. A city of perversion. When released, Judah was infiltrated by the sons and daughters of Cain, the wicked ones spawned by Satan, the Kenites. Revelations 2:9 / Just because they call themselves )Jews, Judah, Israel, does not make it so. They are in fact, Kenites, the literal spawn of Satan and the original whore, Eve. / Letter from Pontius Pilate to Caesar, held today at The Library Of Congress in Washington D.C., describes Christ as having the bluest of eyes and golden hair as the sun, truly, this is the Son Of God. / You can write them and request a copy of the letter. / In the end, only a handful of us will know this truth. Yet, the Kenite vermin shall take a knee before our light. Rise White Man! / Hail To Our Fuhrer, Adolf Hitler!!!

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Those are just the select few that time and space will allow for, but you get the overall picture. While no singular reply on 4Chan is necessarily correct, I've found that if you blend all of them together (and ignore certain facts) you'll often find the underlying common-denominators that you can interpret into a plausible explanation of your liking. Hopefully, the information presented by these scholarly (and predominately Christian) 4Channers answers the perplexing theological question of Christ's faith to you. Like myself, you're probably breathing a great sigh of relief in knowing that our Savior wasn't a shifty Hebe, and that the whole "King of Jews" thing is a classic example of Jewish fuckery. Once again, those ever-so-helpful lads on 4Chan have debunked a Zionist fairy-tale (the hugely-exaggerated "Holocaust" being another one) and proven that you don't need to rely upon Jewish-controlled information sources like Wikipedia and Snopes to find real answers to important questions.



In the name of our Savior,

Captain Caleb Eldridge
Benevolent Dictator,
Caleb's Island

 


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Dear Good Captain,

Reading your latest praises of my allegedly lucid prose made me blush and laugh out loud with delight! Unfortunately, the blushing and the giggling happened as I read your post on my i-phone while ordering cheese pizza at my local pizza joint, which prompted a rather awkward silence in the room and menacing frowns from onlookers, followed by my hasty retreat from the establishment. I think they misunderstood my intentions for some reason. And while I had to order my dinner elsewhere, I certainly enjoyed the flattery!

As you have astutely observed and skillfully used to your advantage, flattery will get you far with me. I therefore hope you don't take it personally when, in response to you comparing me to the universally revered literary giants of porn fiction like Steinbeck and Hemingway, I finally get a clue and get suspicious of your intentions. This is where you have taken flattery a bit too far. You're not fucking serious, Captain! (This last sentence has nothing to do with anything, it's just a spontaneous observation and an expression of my deep appreciation for your prolific writings on the pages of this shithole of a board.) But you may have touched on something profound: my reason for posting here in the first place. If you examine my prose a bit more closely, you may rightly conclude that English is not my native language. An awkwardly composed sentence here, an inappropriate application of an idiom there... yes, Captain, I post on this board to practice the skills in my adopted language, and I do so anonymously to avoid the snarky comments from my elitist liberal peers who tend to compare my English to that of the backwater inbred conservative hicks. Call me a vulgar peon, but I welcome every opportunity to use words like "douchebag" and "conservatard" in a sentence, and I sure don't get to do it often enough when I am in the company of politically correct uptight full of shit liberals.

In the spirit of the upcoming high holiday, it is good and proper of you to make so many mentions of Jews in your post. I always thought of Christmas as one of the weirdest holidays ever conceived by white Christian bigots. Not because it celebrates suspicious circumstances surrounding Mary's conception and the birth of Jesus on a date curiously matching that of a pagan holiday, and not even because of the inexplicable prominence of a multitude of re-enactments of a not exactly pure-blooded Turkish saint conducting the most common ritual associated with Christmas, namely placing little children dangerously close to his loins and teaching them how to get their parents to spend shitloads of borrowed money on useless cheap Chinese crap they will throw out in a month - I am totally non-judgmental about any of it. What makes Christmas weird is this is the day when all the white Arian Jew-haters celebrate the birth of a dark-skinned hook-nosed bulgy-eyed unshaven Jew greedily rubbing his hands together and grinning with delight at the pile of coins, born to a Jewess of equally charming appearance. (Ok, I grant you, this is a composite of what a Jew is supposed to look like, but anthropologists and genetics experts at the Daily Stormer assure me it is a very accurate representation, and thus Jesus is very likely to have possessed the vast majority of these features). These same Jew-haters also mourn a Jew's death, get pretty pissed at Jews for killing a Jew, give absolutely no credit to the Romans who did all the the fun shit, like imprisoning, humiliating, whipping the shit out of and crucifying a Jew, and celebrate the resurrection of a dead Jew as if they enjoy reminding each other that you can't keep a Jew down. And then, to confuse matters even further, these same white Arian Jew-haters worship a Jew as their god and savior. I don't know about you, Captain, but my head is spinning! Mein jüdischer Gott, Captain, with your intimate knowledge of all things white and Arian, can you please explain WTF is wrong with these people?

Yours in Christ the Jew, and a merry Jew birthday to you,

Your favorite bigger than ever liberal fan

P.S. I am not sure what to make of your recollections of an eight year old boy being fascinated with middle-aged flaming queers, but if you want to talk about it, I am here to listen, not to judge.