I'm not a kid anymore, so I popped a Viagra the other night hoping to get a piece from the old lady. THEN she tells me she has a fucking headache...I was pissed, AND I had a throbbing hardon. I knew I was going to have one of those 4 hour boners they always warn ya about in the commercials, and I really wasn't looking forward to have to go to the E.R. and have all the nurses pointing at me and giggling like the last time this happened. The worst part was when the flamboyantly gay male nurse asked if I "needed a hand with anything" with an odd twinkle in his eye.

Thinking quickly, I decided the best way to rid myself of this unwanted woody was to check out a few of the hideous women of the Democratic party, and boy did that do the trick! Instant boner-buster, better than an ice-cold shower! It was so effective that I couldn't get it up for the next 3 days...I was starting to think I'd done permanent damage, but I slowly recovered. I tested myself this morning by looking at pictures of Taylor Swift, and my mizzen mast rose to the occasion quite nicely.

I heartily recommend this boner-busting technique for anyone wanting to deflate their dong when circumstances warrant ...or if you want to dampen the sexual desires of others. As an example, when my 18 year old daughter's boyfriend showed up to take her out last night, I sat him down at my desk and showed him these pics while asking him if he'd like to fuck any of them...he actually threw up in his mouth at one point I think. Just the look on his face told me that he wouldn't be banging my little girl anytime soon.